Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
