No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will be naked everywhere
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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