obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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