Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
