He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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