K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
