These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
