life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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