so that wasnt chicken after all
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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