I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
