I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just took my morning after pill in the library
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
