My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
