Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just invented taco cereal.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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