So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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