She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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