I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
