he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's the barista slut.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
