next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
