Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
