I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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