we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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