Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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