Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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