guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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