I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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