Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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