he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
