Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
