I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
