Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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