The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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