With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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