How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
