The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
