You're so nebulous sometimes
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
