wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
