You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
