If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
