dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
