is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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