Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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