I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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