I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
