oh god the rape fog is back!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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