DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize