Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my vag is so smooth its legendary
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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