I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you had me at cake vodka
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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