We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
