There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
