Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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