Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize