this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
