well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
