You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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