Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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