how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
