I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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