there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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