trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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