terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
