The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
