all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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